I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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