Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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