and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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