God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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