He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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