I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
