I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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