I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
