the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize