official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
