whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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