I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
