I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
