Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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