I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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