S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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