You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
