i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
