honey bunches of taint.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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