Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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