is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
