told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
