nutella sex= disaster
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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