I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
as a side note pls kill me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
