Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
