How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Drunk is not a location!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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