I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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