Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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