yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
