They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize