Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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