He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
