I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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