dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
