you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The adults are the big ones right?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
