I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
