Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
