billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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