thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
where are you?
Hypothermia
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
