Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry about my life...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
