you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
