It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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