Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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