Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Houston, we have a blender
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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