If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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