i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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