Whod you bang
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
