I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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