Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize