Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
