does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
