Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
