your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
