At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
