Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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