you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
