plz talk dirty to me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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