omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
