i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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